Trust takes many forms

Trust takes many forms

One of the foundation blocks of our relationships is trust. Without trust relationships fall apart. How can we love someone if we can't trust them?

I think about how trusting young children are at first. When you see them playing on a play ground they will quickly strike up a conversation with other children who join them in play. Children in the store will smile at people they encounter. However, adults quickly teach them to fear strangers and the trust begin to go away.

Life teaches us not to trust. As we grow up and encounter the hurts from others who do not accept us we loose even more of our trust. I once worked in a counseling program for school aged children and I noticed how many of the children we saw were between twelve and fifteen years old. As I began to look about the kinds of problems they had I realized most of them were depressed. I began to reflect on the things they would talk about in their counseling sessions. Their world was changing as they made the transition from being children to young adulthood. Many of them were having trouble figuring out who they could trust. Peers who had been their friends in grade school could no longer be counted on. Friendships would end over minor disputes. They would tell other children a secret and then the next day find the whole school talking about it. Their relationships with their parents were in flux as they went from being a little child to becoming an adult. They were finding they could not tell their parents everything. This is also the age where romantic relationships with intense emotions begin, sometimes only to end abruptly.

By the time we are adults some of us are not sure who we can trust and we are afraid to tell others, including our partners what we really think and feel. This can be especially frustrating in love relationships where we long to be understood and trusted. We expect the other person to know what we are thinking, feeling and needing, but our fears keep us from talking about our needs.

We are afraid to trust our lovers to always be there with us. In our society with its belief in romantic love the media is full of people falling in love and they can not control their desires (lust) for anther so they runaway with them. We see people who blindly follow their desires and have affairs and/or end there relationship for a new person. It is hard to trust if we don’t think our partner is committed to the relationship.

A world without trust is a fearful and lonely place. A home with out trust is a miserable place. I see many people who feel isolated and alone in the world. Their friends and family are not there for them to talk with and care about them. They do not have anyone to care for. Our cities are full of people who are strangers.

What should we do then?

We need to become more accurate in our judgment of others. We can look for clues to help us determine who we can trust. We need to find people and places where we can feel a connection and trust. We need to develop a trusting relationship with God.

Starting with your self ask these questions:

Are you a trustworthy person?

Do you always tell the truth?

Do you keep your promises?

Do you cherish the hearts of those in your life?

Do you really listen to those you care about?

Do you practice the golden rule “do unto others as you would have others do unto you”?