Over Coming Depression

Depression

Depression takes many forms ranging from serious chronic depression which never really goes away, requiring professional help with a combination of medication and counseling, to less severe transient feelings of sadness. You may have gone through a life event which leads to depression, such as the death of a loved one where you know why you are upset and need time to heal.

If you or someone you know is suffering from depression there is help and hope. The ways you can over come depression include:

Medical treatment

If you have ongoing depression that just won’t go away, you should talk to your medical doctor about it. You may want to ask for a referral to a psychiatrist and a mental health professional. In my practice I have seen people come out of persistent depression with a combination of the right medication and counseling.

Counseling

However, many people prefer not to take medication or have not responded to it in the past. I have seen them benefit from what is called cognitive behavioral therapy. With the help of a counselor they can examine how they view the world, how they think and how they behave. A counselor can help you examine the sources of your depression.

I often see depression and anger as two sides of the same coin. When you are angry about things in your life, but cannot find ways to release the anger it creates an emotional wound which festers and becomes depression. I help my clients examine these feelings and help them determine a course of action. For example, are you angry with a loved one, but afraid to express it? When you do express it to them does nothing happen? Are you afraid it will make things worse if you do talk about what is making you angry? Are you still angry about things that happened to you in the past?

As we examine the answer to these and similar questions we can come up with a course for action. May be becoming more assertive and learning to speak up will help. In some cases you may need to get away from the person or situation causing the anger. May be accepting things won’t change can help. May be learning how to let go can help.

Some times depression comes when we have major changes and/or upsets in our lives. The death of a loved one, for example, is often a trigger for depression. Sometimes depression is an unexpected reaction to what would seem to be a good thing like graduating from school or having a baby. If these feelings of depression linger and begin to interfere with your life you may want to talk with a counselor to help you examine what it behind your feelings of depression.

Self-help

Some times we can get over depression on our own. We can ask ourselves some of the questions above. We can find friends and family we can talk with and gain support from. Learning self care things you can do such as getting regular exercise, meditation, getting enough rest, journaling, etc. Helping others can give you a boost.

Faith based help

I strongly believe we can turn to God to help us in times of depression. Taking the time to pray and listen to God can help you find strength to face you depression.

Spending time reading and meditating on the Bible reminds you of God’s promises to us.

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:5-7 (in Context) Deuteronomy 31 (Whole Chapter)

Psalms 73: 26

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

The Bible tells us how we should think and act: Titus 3:8

This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.

These are just a few passages to meditate on when you are feeling depressed.

Here is a link to an on line Bible site:

http://www.biblegateway.com/

Which way is best?

I find various combinations of these approaches are helpful for most people. I suggest you try working on your depression on your own for a while if it is not to bad. However, if it is persistent or you are having thoughts of harming yourself or others get professional help right away!

The most important thing to remember is you can fight depression. By taking these small steps you can begin to feel better about life. Please feel free to email me with your questions and comments.


Mark Smith

msmith.lpc@gmail.com

Why do bad things happen?

One of the first bible passages I came across when I became a Christian, over 30 years ago, was “all things work together for those who love the Lord”. Since then things have happened to me where at the time I was not sure how good they were as I was experiencing them. Things like:

>The problems in my first marriage which ultimately lead to divorce after 20+ years

>Getting hit by a car and nearly dying

>Problems on the various jobs I had over the years

>Struggles trying to be a good parent

>Deaths of friends and loved ones

So what have I discovered? I have learned God can use these life experiences to make us stronger and help others. In my counseling with couples I have empathy and understanding for the troubles facing couples. I understand how badly communication and understanding can break down. When we do not feel our spouse understands us we begin to feel they do not love us. This can lead to not trying to talk about our concerns and, eventually, feelings of loneliness. When we are no longer friends the relationship eventually falls apart. If we do not have our own inner peace and we look to our spouse to provide it we are disappointed and become angry. When we can not express true affection and experience loving touch we begin to grow distant from our spouse. When we constantly put our own needs ahead of our spouse we are not really demonstrating love. My list could go on but I hope you get my point. Since I did so many things wrong in my first marriage, I have used my own experiences to help me recognize the problems in the marriages of the couples in my office. Don’t let me fool you, I still do some things wrong in my present marriage (just ask my wife) but I have learned how to recognize what I have done and pay more attention to my wife’s reactions. Then I apologize and work on changing my behavior.

When I was hit by a car while riding my bike I could have died if I had not been wearing a helmet. I learned not to take life for granted. We have no guarantee we are going to die of old age. We need to consider each day could be our last. Have we taken time to do the most important things?

Being a parent is one of the greatest joys and challenges many of us will ever face. I learned each child is different, what worked with one of my daughters did not necessarily work with the other. I learned we make mistakes in parenting but we can learn from them. I learned to ask for help and suggestions from others with more experience. I learned the importance of being there and spending time with them. I learned they grow up all too quickly, before you know it they are out on their own. I know we can never tell them we love them too many times.

Before becoming a counselor I worked in many jobs I did not like, but they paid the bills. Looking back I can see they taught me valuable lessons about life. When I worked in a factory while in college it increased my determination to finish my education. When I worked in a convenience store I learned a lot about human nature. When I drove a school bus I learned things about child behavior you won’t read about in books. When I sold insurance I learned I wanted to go back and get a Master’s Degree so I could help people with their mental health issues.

With the death of a loved one, we are reminded our life here is short. Have we done things to show our love? All of us are here for only a very short time. Are we making the most of it?

My list of things could go on and on. The point I am trying to make is we need to look at life’s experiences as lessons which are teaching us to be better people who love God, ourselves and others. Men and women who put first things first.