Relationship Tiping Points

In Tipping Points Malcolm Gladwell wrote about how sometimes events can end up making big differences later on. I have seen this happen many times in relationships. Something happens such as the birth of a child, an affair, career set backs, a big argument, grief over the death of a loved one, etc. where the relationship is fractured and the participants begin to drift apart.
Sometimes this hurt has festered for years before a couple comes to see me.

If I can help the couple identify this relationship tipping point and they can learn to heal the hurt often the relationship can be restored. For many the forgiveness this involves is the hardest part. This is especially true where additional hurts have piled on top of the original hurt forming emotional scar tissue. In many cases both partners in the relationship have become defensive in hurtful ways saying mean things to protect their own hearts and it is difficult to figure out where the original hurt began.

By talking about the things and working through the layers of hurt emotional healing can begin. For many the hardest part is to forgive and to learn to trust again. Fears of being hurt can prevent us from forgiving and trusting. At times liked this I encourage couples to both begin to study the principals set forth in the Bible and to use it as a guide for their behavior toward each other.